Dulwich Hill Bicycle Club

Garminised: data on Garmin uploads completely and correctly with 100% accuracy; the ride exists.

Garminated: no or partial inaccurate data on Garmin, upload fails; the ride never happened and you have joined the riding dead.

I was garminated so often I bought a new one...

Garminatonic: The state of inability to ride anywhere without the collection of data

Garminology: The study of Strava Segments

Garminista: The term use to describe a female rider whom has “chicked” a male rider, then uploaded the data to rub it in.

Garmini: The plural form of a Garmin

Ingarminable: A ride that cannot be mapped or recorded in anyway due to weak on no satellite coverage, ie a gentle recovery ride through the cross city tunnel is ingarminable.

Garminimbidium: The substance, that as a single block, a Garmin is carved from by highly skilled artisans

The Garminator to terminate all you Garmin infested riders. I need your jersey, your clipless and your ride, for I'll be back!

Dougie, which do you have: Bachelor, Master or Professor of Garminology?

Garmin: an electronic form of vermin (singular) that infects a rider.

Garminade: the simple refreshment and spiritual/moral uplift gained from Garminising.

Garmination: the desolation, despair and existential angst derived from Garminating.

Stravenator: Rider who actively seeks out KOM's or QOM's owned by people known to them

Faux-Garmin: a smart phone equipped with the Strava app.

The Garminless: the rapidly diminishing pool of riders not infected by a Garmin or Faux-Garmin, expected to soon be restricted to those riders only riding within in a satellite-free zone, e.g. those riders riding solely within the cross city tunnel.

Stravagation: the technique of navigating a route between any two points with the aim of maximising the number of achievable segments ridden. A highly skilled Stravagator also takes into account the prevailing wind in order to enhance KOM/QOM possibilities.

Garminering: the act of using, playing with, setting up ones Garmin. Most are only part time Garminer's, using only a fraction of the Garmin's capabilities...

Garminatric: Eye sight has degraded to the point where you can't read the display while riding.

Garminal: the condition of using all Garmin capabilities on a perfectly working Garmin on a perfect ride.

Straval: the condition of being at the top of the leader board on every segment ever ridden.

Gar-Min: Two founders on a bike, colloquially referred to as a tandem.

Garminheimer's Disease: continual forgetting to turn Garmin off (mild case), persistent forgetting to turn Garmin on in spite of programmed reminder (severe case), wondering what the thing with elastic bands on the handlebars is for (worst case)
Garminimalism: Garmin with one screen showing one field displaying either speed (racer); distance (masochist); elevation (climber); cadence (Lance Armstrong look-alike); heart rate (hypochondriac)
Garmin Miranda: water sport version

Garmisery: that sense of despair and desolation experienced when a long cherished crown (http://app.strava.com/segments/903006) gets plundered by a young buck less than half your age. Well done Chris Hagerman...

well, ya know what ya gotta do...

well, ya know what ya gotta do...

Indeed I do... hang up my shoes, retire to the couch and bore the grandchildren with tales of the glory days, while drinking beer and getting fat.

Indeed I do... hang up my shoes, retire to the couch and bore the grandchildren with tales of the glory days, while drinking beer and getting fat.

It's called garminiscing.

It's called garminiscing.

Snap!

Garminescent: the appearance of the rider who has recently cracked KOM/QOM on a long standing segment.

Garminevolent: those distinguished riders who offer support to the uninitiated.

Garminasciitis: a facial condition experienced by riders focussed on both sprinting and the Garmin display. May be acute or chronic.

A little late to the party on this one, but.......

Garminatrix - a female cyclist who dominates the leaderboards

Stravation - what one feels when they are not able to use Strava for a few days

A little late to the party on this one, but.......

Garminatrix - a female cyclist who dominates the leaderboards

Stravation - what one feels when they are not able to use Strava for a few days

Never too late - I particularly like "Stravation"!

Garminiac Arrest: HRM says you are having a heart attack and you are.